11 Down, 1 to go!

God is so good!  Only one more to go.  I'm sitting here in awe over a beautiful card with two beautiful handmade bookmarks today.  I will try to remember to post a picture tomorrow.  My friend does beautiful work. 

I'm sitting here in awe though over the note on the card saying I saved her life.  Wow.  She pushed her doctor for answers and they found the cancer in time because of my story.  That made everything I have gone through worth it.  Praise God!  God is so good to bring something beautiful out of this. 

God is good.  Thank you all for your continuted prayers, cards and email. 

Number 11

Please pray for me tomorrow, March 9th as it is my 11th out of 12 treatments.  Please pray for peace for my husband who is very stressed out even though he will not admit it. 

hey Rick - you gonna make a copy of the new joe bonnamasa cd so i can decide if i wanna buy it?

I really could use cards and notes this week.  or flowers....or presents....or stuff.....:)

Hair - or lack of it.

Just thought I'd let you know that my hair is really falling out now.  I will no longer go out in public without something covering my head.  Any one have any fun hats they want to loan me?

Answered Prayer

I want to thank all of you that prayed for me when I asked for it the other day.  By 4:00 that afternoon I was in the best mood I've been in in months.  God was so good in answering all your prayers.  I no longer am dreading the last two treatments, and have been able to look at all the blessings I have and praising God for them.  Ok, so I'm not looking forward to the last two treatments, but they are no longer something that I would rather be shot than have to endure. 

The difference in my attitude has been amazing.  I feel peace again.  I know that the Lord is healing me.  Thank you all.  I would not be here if not for the prayers of all my friend.  I love you all. 

Most of all Praise to the Lord Jesus for answered prayers.

2 to go....

Just 2 more chemos.  At least I pray there's only two.  Let's pray that by the time they do the last two treatments that if there's anything left they can remove it with surgery and I will be done with this.  Although I ahve to say at this point I don't even know how I"m going to get through two more times of them filling me full of poison.  Less than a month to go, but right now that seems like a very big mountain to climb.  In some ways this is much worse than when I started.  The effects of chemo accumulate and each treatment is just a bit worse than the last.  Gets discouraging to feel good now and to know that I'll be sick all next week.  So lets keep those cards and letters coming my friends.  I need all the encouragement I can get for the next 4 weeks. 

I love you all!

chemo 10

The drug they didn't give me this week was Avastin.  High blood pressure and nosebleeds are side effects of it and my blood pressure was too high for comfort.  He put me on blood pressure meds and will decide on the 9th if they are going to do the Avastin the last 2 rounds.  I have been taking it from the beginning. 

Less than a month until no more chemo!  Woohoo!

chemo round 10

Actually doing pretty good this week. They didn't give me one of the chemo drugs because it causes high blood pressure and my blood pressure is up to 140/90. first time in my life it's been high. But that is also the drug that made me the most nauseated, beause i've had very little of that this week. Still pretty tired, but otherwise feeling almost like myself.


Only 2 more rounds of chemo to go. Less than a month and i'll be done! woohoo! With chemo anyway. We'll see where we go from there.

An answer to an email

Someone new to having cancer sent me an email asking about my chemo.  I though I would post the answer here too.  Maybe it will help someone else that is "freaking out" over starting chemo.  I know I was.


I haven't been on the cancer boards too much because they haven't been helping me at this point. They have been just one more thing reminding me I have cancer and it hasn't helped me. They were very helpful at the begining when I had lots of questions, but right now I am just trying to get through this with my life as normal as possible. Which this week is very normal. Last week about all I could do was lay on my couch and feel sorry for myself. Yesterday I cleaned my downstairs and was able to steam clean my carpets. Stanley steamer will be here this morning to clean my couch and loveseat. Woohoo! Can't wait. They are so dirty.

My first few chemos were pretty much a piece of cake. Except for the oxyiplatin (sp?). It about killed me. I had throad spasms, couldn't touch anything remotely cold, couldn't even drink anything cool, hands hurt...couldn't deal with that. So after 2 treatments they gave me two weeks off to recuperate and then they started me on camptosar instead. It seems to be working just as well without the side effects. The only thing it does is my hair is thinning greatly. After 7 treatments I probably have less than half the hair I started with and I lose more with each treatment. I only have 3 to go, so I don't think I'll be completely bald, but close to it.

Chemo week is worse for me than the off week. Are your treatments every other week? Typically at this point, like I said the first few were a piece of cake. They accumulate and get worse - at least they did for me. Now I'm pretty sure that on Moday (chemo day) and Tuesday I'll feel pretty much ok, maybe a little tired. Wednesday I'll be tired and by the afternoon I'll be nauseated. Have to remember to take pills at the first sign and keep something in my stomach; white toast or plain saltine crackers work wonders. I've only throw up about 3 times in all the weeks, so that's not much of an issue for me. Thursday I won't really be sick, I'll just have absolutely NO energy whatsoever. I'll sleep a good portion of the day, and when i'm not sleeping i'll be laying on the couch just staring at whatever because I don't have the energy to do anything else. On Friday I'll have more energy, but still be really tired. Saturday is almost normal for me. Then on Sunday without fail I get diareaah. But 2 immodium is all it takes for that.

And then comes my non chemo week. That week I'm pretty close to being my normal self. I can pretty much ignore the fact I'm sick. I get tired a bit easier than normal but besides that no problems.

9 down, 3 to go

Had my 9th chemo yesterday.  Only 3 to go.  Still wondering if I'm going to have any hair when this is all over.  Falling out fast now.  Dave - you may get the chance to shave it yet!  Feeling pretty good today.  Hoping it'll keep up and I can go play in my sewing room.  Mark took me to Joann Fabric on the way home from Hilton Head on Sunday.  Woohoo!  I got some beautiful yellow broadcloth and a pale green broadcloth to make new blouses out of.  I like making them first out of broadcloth because it's inexpensive and if it doesn't turn out right or fit right who cares?  I'm out $6 and know what to do when I make the next one out of more expensive material.

Feeling pretty good today.  Only slept until 8:30.  Was pretty nauseated last night but the nausea pills seemed to help some.  I don't have a lot of energy today, but I don't feel the need to go lay down and sleep all day.  I put dinner (beautiful pork butt that was on sale at bi-lo) in the crock pot, so all mark will have to do is make a salad to go with it.  Mmmmmm. 

Time to go sew.  I'll try to update this later in the week and let you know how this treatment is going.

God Bless you all and thank you for your continued prayers.  They mean more to me than you know!

round 8

I have felt surprisingly good this week. Was pretty tired on Wednesday and so I had my friend Lori drive me to the onc to have my pump removed. Didn't think I was up to driving myself. Although after I felt good enough to have her take me to the fabric store! Woohoo! Added fleece to my stash. Don't know what I'm going to do with it yet, but it was a good price!

Yesterday I slept until about noon. After that I felt pretty good. Surprisingly good for a Thursday because in the past Thursday has been my worst day. I'm lucky to have the energy and feel good enough to take a shower usually. Felt way better than that last night. Not 100%, but not like I was sick either.

Today so far I'm feeling ok. Going to Asheville tonight to see my friend Leslie :) Woohoo! Haven't seen her in way too long! Then tomorrow gonna go throw money away in the casino. Not too much. It's not gambling, I'm going to spend money in casino. I doubt that I'll come out with more than I go in with! Then we'll go to Biltmore for a little bit and come home tomorrow night. Looking forward to it. Next weekend we go to Hilton Head! From one end of the state to the other!

Only 4 more treatments to go! Woohoo! getting there. Thank you all for your continued prayers both for my healing and peace for my hubby and I. I couldn't do this without all of you!

Chemo day 8 - 2/3 of the way through!!! Woohoo

Had chemo day 8 yesterday.  On a very sad note Harold, a very wonderful gentleman that I used to work with, lost his wife of 42 years to a brain tumor on January 15.  Please keep him in your prayers.  I saw him at the chemo room because he has been fighting blood clots in his legs and lungs and goes there for blood work.  HE's a very nice man and taught me all i needed to know about fish camps, what to do when they call for snow - run to the store for bread and milk - and just all kinds of other fun things southern. 

As for me the MRI was fine.  I do actually have a brain and  there isn't anything there that shouldn't be!  The CT scan didn't show much difference, but somehow the timeing of when the contrast hit the liver to when they took the picture was different but what they could see shows a little shrinkage and no growth. 

My CEA level is now down to 12!!!  the lower that number is the less activity I have.  It started at 93!!

The oncologist also believes that after the chemo is over (March 23 should be the last!) that the surgeon will be able to go in and cut out all remaining tumors and I will be cancer free!  Lets keep praying for a good result! 

It all looks good.  And I think you all for keeping on your prayer lists.  I know the reason I am healing with so little problem is that God is healing me!!!  And please pray for peace for Mark.  He is handling this remarkably well, but I know it's harder on him than he lets on. 

Love you all!
Millie

Update 1/23/09

Long time since I updated this. Just to let you know this has been a really good week for me. I have felt like a "normal" human being. Actually managed to get my sewing room cleaned out! What a disaster that was. I've been piling things in there for over a month. But it's done now and I actually can tell what I have! Was nice sewing today in a nice clean room!

I have chemo round 8 on Monday. Then I have an appointment with my oncologist to find out the results of the MRI and CT scan done 2 weeks ago. I'm sure that will be good news.

I saw my surgeon Monday the 19th and he said the CT scan showed a little improvement, but not a lot. He thinks that by the time my 12 treatments are done that the tumors in the liver should be small enough for him to go in and cut the rest out and then I will be cancer free. We are praying for that!

I'll update this Monday after I see my oncologist!

Chemo round 6 12/29/08

Last chemo of the year. Did not want to go. But as my Dear Hubby said it's going to make me better. Was pretty nauseated last night. that was fun. ginger ale and nausea pills helped.

I have also discovered that my hair has not grown at all since before Thanksgiving. I dyed my hair the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and I still do not have any roots growing out. But on the other hand it's not falling out any more either. yet. The good news is I shaved my legs a week ago and they are as smooth as ever. There are some good sides to this :)

Had a wonderful Christmas in Tampa, FL. with my sister and family. Now we're talking about going to the great white north (Cleveland, OH) for new years. Brrrrr. Was 82 in Tampa. Don't even want to think about what it's going to be like in cleve.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and may your New Year be all that you want it to be.

Dr. visit 12-8-08

Seems like my hair loss has slowed down considerably. For the moment at least. Probably just until my next treatment. That's ok :)

Went to see my oncologist yesterday. My CEA has dropped from 99 down to 35! woohoo! (Carcinoembryonic antigen (CEA) is a protein found in many types of cells but associated with tumors) For a "normal person" should be less then 3. Mine is 35. But it's dropped considerably. That means the treatment is working.

Also, they still don't have the luecovorin for my next treatment on Monday, but they do have it in pill form. So before I go to chemo I have to take 8 pills. I'll get them tomorrow and find out then how big they are.

I also have a cold. yuck :( Dr. Dunder put me on antibiotics just as a precaution because if I get strep throat or a bacterial infection he said with the poisons I have running through my body I could get very sick very fast. I'll pass on that one. Sneezing 24 hours a day is bad enough.

Other than that I am feeling really good. looking forward to my open house this Saturday night! Woohoo! Our 4th annual Christmas Open House! Hope to see all of you there!

Can't believe how much hair I lost in the shower today. At this rate I won't have any hair left by this time next week. The surprising part is it hurts to touch my head. I can't believe how sensitive it is. But is sure beats not being able to drink anything cold, or touch anything cold, and the pain in my throat. I'll take the hair loss over neuropathy any day. It's still a weird feeling to know that my hair is all falling out....someone is going to have to show me how to tie a scarf over my head! I'll have to find a pretty Christmas scarf to wear to the Christmas party next week. At this point expect for his bosses, no one Mark works with knows I have cancer. I think they'll figure it out next Thursday when I don't have any hair.....

But maybe it won't all fall out. Maybe it'll stop. and Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow 50 lbs thinner...I think not :)

I'll keep you posted....

Haircut

Here's the new haircut. In the last couple of days it's been coming out and I decided it wouldn't be as traumatic if it was short.

Never a dull moment.

Walked into my kitchen this morning and my shirt looked wet and when I looked down it was covered in blood. Wasn't that fun. I pulled up my shirt and blood started dripping all over my kitchen floor. Somehow the connection between my chemo pump and my porta cath came undone. I paniced for about 2 seconds before it occurred to me that I need to put the clamp on so I would quit bleeding.

The white part is what came unscrewed. The yellow thing is the clamp to stop the blood from coming out.

Thanksgiving

My neice Lauren. My awesome hubby Mark in the background.

This is Lily.

It was a great Thanksgiving. I really enjoyed having my family here.

chemo round 4 day 2 12/3/08

Not feeling too bad this morning. Was really queasy last night. Took a mild nausea pill, that just made me queasier. So I took one of my heavy duty nausea pill and got really nauseaus. What's up with that? So I took a sleeping pill...that didn't help my stomach any either. But it did put me to sleep. Didn't sleep very well. Good thing I had ambien to help me sleep or I probably wouldn't have slept at all. Good news is I woke up feeling much better this morning.

The other wonderful news is my hair is starting to fall out. Not in clumps, just thinning. If I run my hands through my hair I get many many strands come out. So I'm going today and getting it cut short so at least I have little strands of hair everywhere, not big long ones. I'll try to remember to post a picture later after it's done.

And to all my friends that I love at Love, INC - I'm hoping to come in and work with you all one day next week if you need some help!

I love you all. Thank you for your continuted prayers. And please pray for my husband Mark. I'm sure that this is a lot harder on him than he lets on.

chemo 4 - different again

found out that the chemo drug Leucovorin they give me that is supposed to make the 5fu (the main chemo drug) work better is on national back order.  So they were going to try to get another newer drug in place of it.  Come to find out that is on back order too.  My onc said he wanted me to have chemo anyway....better to have the 5fu, Camptosar and Avastin than nothing.  So I go at noon today for my 4th treatment. 

Sitting here last night and playing with my hair I suddenly realized that there were an awful lot of strands in my fingers.  sigh.  So it's starting.  Who knows how much of it will go.  So I've decided that either today or tomorrow I am going to go get it cut short.  sigh.  Wonder if it will grow as fast after this is all over as it does now?  Have to wait and see I guess.  Hair is such a minor thing compared to death. 

I'll keep you all posted on how I'm feeling this week.

Hugs,
Millie